Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Miraculous

My sister got married almost a week ago, and this occasion brought our whole family together for the first time in quite a while.  There were many blessings in this...having the privilege in sharing my sisters' wedding day with her being the largest, of course.  She was absolutely stunning and happier than I have ever seen her.  She doesn't like to be the center of attention, (which of course she was), but handled all the unwanted attention with a great deal of poise and strength and confidence.  I think she could see the prize at the end of the finish line and decided it would all be worth it.

I got to spend some one-on-one time with my brother-in-law, Billy, a few days later.  He lives in Southern California and has had a very hard year.  He battled testicular cancer and came through this sickness with a clean bill of health - thank God.  In addition to this, he is in the middle of dealing with some very painful issues in his personal life.  I wasn't sure how our time together would pan out, but knew it was important that we talked.  I tried to pray on my walk to meet him, but had a hard time with my words.  Turns out, sometimes you don't need words to pray.  He knows your heart.  

Billy and I wanted different things for the evening.  I wanted to be encouraging - to say just the "right thing."  I should know by now that saying the "right thing" is neither here nor there and rarely encouraging.  After all, what does that even mean?    Billy wanted to be guarded and careful with his words.  I think we both decided separately to throw out our misconstrued notions of how the night "should" go down and instead, decided to simply be honest with each other.  And more freedom and encouragement and enlightenment came from that for both of us than any "right thing" bullshit.

Our conversation made me reflect on a lot of things.  The most substantial of these was how little I understand and believe in my heart of God's greatness - both what He is capable of, and what He has done and is doing in my life and in the lives of people I love.  I could tell you all day long that "miracles happen every day" and "God can do anything."  While I do believe these things in my head, I don't really believe them in my heart of hearts.  I know this because I do not expect Him to move in a powerful way in my life outside of what my humanness allows me to suppose.  Does this make sense?

For instance, lets say I have chronic neck pain.  I would know in my head that God could take this pain away if He so desired, but I don't think I would ever ask Him to take this pain from me because I would never think that I was "important" enough.  Same thing about praying for a miracle...I never think to ask for one because I think somewhere deep down I believe that these are reserved for people other than myself - "good Christians."  The truth is, there is no such thing as a "good Christian."  But bigger than this, I am very much "important enough" simply by loving Him and involving Him in my life.

Billy very much believes that in this horribly painful situation of his, God will work something out that is beautiful and profound and miraculous.  He asked me to pray with him in this and I told him that I would.  And since our talk, my belief in the miraculous has expanded and filled my heart with hope.  It does not matter how we come to Him; the most important thing is that we come...come just as we are.  Ask for the miraculous.  Expect the miraculous.  He is bigger.

No comments:

Post a Comment